Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Button Up

Had a great weekend!  Saturday I got acupuncture and then Handsome and I went to the mall for lunch and met our friend Dezarai.  After lunch she and I went shopping while Handsome went to get his haircut.  Later our friends Oz and Keisha came over for a while before they went to the ASU game and we went to dinner.  We don't get to see them often because they live in Puerto Rico so it was great that they could make time for us while they were here in the States.  Keisha said I looked like I had lost weight which is always nice to hear and I do think I have been eating better and been more active.  Since the transfer I have been on an exercise vacation (no gym, no strenuous activities).  Anyways they are great and we had such a good time - lots of laughter!  Then we went to The House for dinner and they made the best virgin Paloma made from grapefruit juice, lime juice and lemon soda - it was the perfect blend of tart and sweet - so tasty!

Sunday I slept in while Handsome went out to the range for sporting clays.  When I got up I finally used my sewing machine to sew the button on my shorts!

Later I went shopping at Target, I was hoping to find some cute tops (no go), some cute PJs (done) and some more comfortable underwear.  See I typically wear the lace trimmed cotton thongs from Target.

However with the Crinone I have to use twice a day they really aren't very practical.  The underwear I had been using was scratchy so I went back to Target and found Hanes bikini which were guaranteed not to ride up.  They were in pretty colors and guess what they are actually pretty comfortable and it's true they do NOT ride up.  Handsome laughs because I call these my new pregnancy panties.

So Thursday is getting closer and I am feeling pretty terrified.  I try and stay positive and I know our chances (especially with two embryos transferred) is really good but I keep remembering the disappointment and, I hope I'm not being too dramatic, the despair of last time.  If anything I think Handsome is being more positive and optimistic.  He keeps telling me to take care of his babies and that I am filled up with his babies.  I guess we'll find out Thursday.  I talked to my acupuncturist a little about it, about how I was trying to stay positive but I was worried and she said to keep in mind that whatever  happens to remember that I have done all that is possible to make this happen - I almost started crying because while I do acknowledge that, it almost seems like a cop-out for not being more positive.  Its like I don't want to even let a negative thought cross my mind because what if it sticks?  Then when I try and focus on not thinking anything negative (what do you think about when I tell you not to think about elephants) I get more and more stressed when they inevitably cross my mind.  I want to feel super optimistic and positive but I am so scared.  I think its the waiting bits that are the worst.  Well enough scary stuff for now - I don't want to dwell.  I am trying to visualize those little embryos implanted and growing inside of me and the children they will become. ttyl

"Buttons, a farthing a pair!
Come, who will buy them of me?
They're round and sound and pretty,
And fit for girls of the city.
Come, who will buy them of me?
Buttons, a farthing a pair!"

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