Crazy Beautiful

Only 5 more days until the transfer!!!  I am excited and terrified at the same time.  I try not and dwell on the terrified part and instead focus on the transfer working.   I also think the meds I am on mightbe driving me crazy.  I started the Prometrium today and I don't know if it is that, the combination, or the length of time I have been on the Estrace but my emotions are all over the place.  Remember too that I am on levothyroxine for my Hashimoto's Thyroidosis and you can see that I am taking all kind of hormones and I don't think my brain knows quite how to process them. 

One minute I am happy and bubbly and then next I want to burst into tears.  I go from feeling sexy, sensual and powerful (all men bow before me and recognize my beauty!) to feeling friendless, unwanted and so alone (if I went away would anyone even miss me?).  Some times I feel alien and totally diconnected and other times I feel like part of a whole, one with the universe in all it's complexity.  These extremes and the speed at which I can fluctuate between leave me feeling adrift and unsure of what is real, do I really feel/think/want something or is it just the medications?  It leaves me feeling out of control which is very difficult for me (I am a planner and I like to be in control).  Luckily I can hold on to the rational part of myself enough to realize that this is a temporary state and that the fluctuations are most likely due to the medications.  Even luckier I have Handsome, who acts as my anchor, a hand to hold when  I feel swept away.  He is being extra attentive and loving which helps immensely.

The Prometrium capsules look like little yellow eggs and I have to take them vaginally - not my favorite thing and I have to take it three times a day meaning at least once while at work - joy.  September 1st I will start taking Medrol which is not a hormone so hopefully I won't be adding to the crazyness.  I had acupuncture today and let Dr. Dana know that I was a little depressed.  She said she could help with that I do feel somewhat better but don't know if it was the needles or just the rest period I had during the acupuncture.  She did most of the same points today except instead of my wrist or forearm she did the top of my hand in between my thumb and index finger (back towards the wrist).  On my feet today (never a part of the body I like messed with) she did the topside of the foot near the base of the toes between the big toe and index toe (like where she did my hand but on my feet) my feet jumped all around like fish... I couldn't help it, I was very senitive.  Well keep those good thoughts coming my way and hopefully I will be past this hormone craziness soon and one to pregnancy craziness!  ttyl

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
"Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed"

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
"Come on now, who do you
Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are?
Ha ha ha, bless your soul
You really think you're in control?

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me"

Copied from MetroLyrics.com

Closer

Today was my appointment at ARMS, they did an ultrasound to look at the lining of the uterus and my folicular development... basically they measured the thickness of the lining and the size of my ovaries.  I did catch that my uterine lining was 8mm.  They also drew blood to look at my hormone levels.  I got the call this afternoon that everything looks fine and we are good to go for transfer on the fourth.  On the 30th (Thursday) I will go back to taking the Estradiol twice per day and start taking the prometrium 3 times a day.  On September 1st I will start the Medrol.  I was a little bothered this morning when I had to tell them we wanted to transfer two embryos instead of one (I had told them this a few times earlier both in email and phone but they have now made sure the order is correct.

Nothing much else on the fertility front - keep your fingers crossed for me.  I am excited and terrified all at the same time.  I did get a couple of other things taken care of...  I added a picture to Handsome's side of the bed and it doesn't look so lonely anymore.  The photo is a little grainy because the camera was focusing on Heidel (she's doing her Vanna White impression)

 

 I also finally got a chair for my crafting center.  Can you guess what color it is????  Now all I need is a bookshelf and a new bin for my wrapping paper and it will be all set.

ttyl

Faithful John
"Everything which she has about her is of gold—-tables, chairs, dishes, glasses, bowls, and household furniture. Among thy treasures are five tons of gold; let one of the goldsmiths of the Kingdom work these up into all manner of vessels and utensils, into all kinds of birds, wild beasts and strange animals, such as may please her, and we will go there with them and try our luck."
Grimm, Jacob; Grimm, Wilhelm; Charles River Editors; Taylor, Edgar (2011-11-29). The Complete Brothers Grimm's Fairy Tales (Illustrated) (Kindle Locations 688-691). Unknown. Kindle Edition.

PS - its not gold ;)

Warming

I promised last time that I would talk about the new acupuncture stuff. Saturday I had my fourth acupuncture treatment and the used a heat lamp over my abdomen to "help thicken the lining and warm my uterus in anticipation of my transfer next week.  Also last week she had me drinking an herbal tea and using an herbal stick.  The tea looks like Arizona dirt but luckily tastes similar to black tea (with maybe a little dirt thrown in)

 Here is my bag of specially mixed herbs.

 The special spoon I am supposed to use, Bremen ate my first one but I was able to get another yesterday.  Since he ate mine I had been using a half teaspoon - don't know what the measurement on the magic spoon is, I just know I am supposed to use three spoonfuls at least twice a day.

Tea time!

 

The stick looks like a cross between an incense stick and a cigar.  It is smokeless but you can smell it when it is lit.  I am supposed to light it and go in circles between my hipbones from belly button to pubic bone.  I have Handsome do it so I don't burn myself (I am supposed to be close enough to feel the heat but far enough I don't burn myself).  He thinks it is all voodoo but he indulges me and while he is doing it he makes goes "neeyurm, neeeyurm" like something is moving fast. 

 

Here is the herbal stick unlit.  I am also supposed to eat warming foods which include raspberries, which I like so I am snacking on those usually in the morning or at lunch, and things like peaches which I do not like so avoid.  They also recommended stews and soups and venison so Handsome made a venison stew/soup last week which was delicious.  Ultrasound appointment is coming up Tuesday, I will let you know how that goes.

 

 

The Turnip

"I understand the stars, and the signs of the Zodiac, and the tracks of the winds, the sand of the sea, the healing of illness, and the virtues of all herbs, birds, and stones."

Grimm, Jacob; Grimm, Wilhelm; Charles River Editors; Taylor, Edgar (2011-11-29). The Complete Brothers Grimm's Fairy Tales (Illustrated) (Kindle Locations 8943-8945). Unknown. Kindle Edition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bottleneck

Tomorrow I start my Estradiol three times per day.  I guess I will put the pills in my purse that way I will always have them whether I eat at home or out.  Everything seems to be ramping up - I increase my meds the 24th (tomorrow), I have my prep appointment where they will check lining and follicles on the 28th, I will start new medication the 30th and then the transfer is on September 4th.  Everyone keep your fingers crossed and good thoughts heading my way!

Yesterday morning I got to wait for the shower guy to come and tell me how much it would be to fix my shower.  I will preface this part of the post by saying I do NOT like this company.  The work is fine it is dealing with them that is such a hassle.  May of 2010, Handsome and I decide it was time to renovate our master bathroom.  We had the counter top replaced with granite tile, we had glass tile added around the bath, and we had the old fiberglass shower stall removed and replaced with porcelain tile.  We installed new brown glass vessel sinks and new satin nickel hardware.  Everything looked great.  The piece de resistance was a new frameless shower door also done in an amber/brown glass.  The problems started from the beginning. 

When the guy first came out to go over our options and give us an estimate we found out that they only work Monday through Friday, 8 am to 5pm.  Both Handsome and I work so this made it extremely hard to find a time we could both be there and this was a large investment that we both felt we should be there together.  When he came he originally gave us a quote for a semi-frameless door because he said it was too large an opening for a frameless door - whatever we could handle that.  We also had to remind him a few times about the type of handle we wanted and what side of the door it should be on.  Then the installers came to install it and again we had to take time off because they only came Monday through Friday, 8am to 5pm.  This was somewhat of a hassle but we were happy because the result looked great!  Although we did notice that there was no frame at all - we had gotten a fully frameless door. 

We brought this up but nobody seemed concerned and it seemed solid.  However, once we started using the shower we noticed water leaking out from under the shower door.  One their frequently asked questions page of their website they indicate it might be time for a new shower door if you are mopping up after showers, they also say "Because the installation is custom made to fit your particular bathroom, Century Shower Door can assure you that your framed unit will not leak and that each door will open and close properly. We offer a one year limited warranty on parts & labor, please ask to see our contract for the details of this warranty."  emphasis is mine - they try and sneak it in that they only warranty their framed units against leaks.  Nowhere does it say - framed units may experience some leakage.  After a week or two of the leaking, during which time we tried shorter showers, adjusting the showerhead, etc, we called them to have them come out and look.  It was during this time that I was told frameless showerdoors leak and they can' guarantee they won't.  I understood that some spray or some drops might get out but we were soaking through bathmats and towels.

This is the towel we started putting down to soak up the water during our showers.  The whole thing would be soaked.  The leaks were bad, especially for Handsome who is quite a bit taller than I am and lanky.  The water would pour off of his elbows and such and pool on the inside of the door and then seep out under the door and off the curb.  They came out and "adjusted" the door and sweep trying to make it closer to the tile and keep the water in.  This did not work.  I called them again but just didn't have the time or patience to take another day off work for them to come and do more adjustments.  They weren't offering any real solutions either.  So for over a year we continued using the towel when we took our showers.

We finally figured out (ourselves) that the problem was the shower curbing. 

See the curb that acts as a the threshold for the shower door is flat, it really should be slightly tipped inward so that water would flow back into the shower and then into the drain.  I called them again a little over a year ago and was told that I was out of warranty and that frameless shower doors leaked.  I could arrange a time (M-F, 8-5) for someone to come out but I was sick of trying to work with them.  So Handsome and I continued using the towel and trying to figure out some solution.  We thought of having the tile removed and reinstalled with the correct incline but I knew we would have to take the door off while that was happening and probably pay for them to remove and reinstall the door along with the cost of any tile work.  Finally I started looking at their website and found this:

A dam strip which goes below the door.  It is only about half and inch wide and a quarter of an inch tall but I wasn't sure about installation or if it would fit below the door.  I talked to Handsome about it and we decided to contact CSD (Century Shower Door) yet again asking about this possibility.  I wrote them an email asking about whether this would work, would it fit beneath the door, and other questions.  I gave them both my email and phone number saying that my preference was email contact.  After waiting almost a week I sent another email letting them know I hadn't heard anything.  Finally I get a snarky voicemail on my phone saying that he had called me multiple times last week and now he gets this email saying no one called me.  I was pretty mad because I had no missed calls and no voicemails so to me the guy is a liar.  Now we finally come to yesterday when I waited for the guy to come and give me a quote.  He says a dam strip may work but he can't guarantee against leaks - since I know the leaks are coming underneath and this will be siliconed in (is "siliconed" a word?) I am sure the leak issue will mainly disappear.  They are also going to replace all the polycarbonate - like the sweep and the stop and such.  All in all it comes to $200 which had I known the dam strip was available and was only going to be $200 I would have had this fixed 2 years ago. 

Once we get the damn strip in (pun intended) I will post a picture.  Below you can see the puddle which is already soaking into the bathmat and this is after a 4 minute shower by Handsome.

 

 I also pointed out some of the minor water damage we have been seeing even though we mop it up:

Well I will talk to you more tomorrow or Saturday and let you know about all the new acupuncture stuff I am doing including warming tea that looks like dirt, a weird warming cigar thingy and my diet. ttyl

The Bottle Neck
"The main mast was split asunder, the ship sprang a leak, and the pumps became useless, while all around was black as night."
Andersen, H. C. (Hans Christian) (2009-10-04). Fairy Tales of Hans Christian Andersen (Kindle Locations 941-942). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

Just Right

Phewww!  This has been a busy and full weekend.  I got a call back on Thursday from ARMS just letting me know that they had received my CD1 call and to continue taking my Estrace twice per day until the 24th at which time I will take it 3 times per day.  Friday, Handsome went to happy hour but I was tired from work and didn't want to make the drive so I just went home and vegged on the couch. 

Saturday I got up fairly early for my 3rd acupuncture appointment.  I was back with Dr. Dana and I enjoy it much more with her.  This time she put needles in between the ball of my foot and the arch.  The feet needles are always the worst.  Then in my calves, the insides of my arms, between my eyes, 3 in my stomach, and one in each ear in the upper lobe - those weren't very fun either.  She also talked to me about taking herbs and trying a smokeless herb stick which I am trying.  After my acupuncture treatment I met up with Handsome at the Biltmore fashion park and we had lunch at Zinburger.  We stopped by the Meat Shop on our way home to pick up some venison for the stew soup Handsome was going to make.  According to Dr. Dana I am cold and need more warming food - both stew/soups and venison are recommended so I killed two birds with one stone.  It will feed us for about 4 days which makes meal planning easier as well. 

Our bed is a king size and had wooden supports in the middle of the support slats.  Unfortunately when Bremen gets excited he jumps on and off the bed pushing it across the floor and the supports bend and fall.  The other night in bed one must have been on the edge and it went out.  The bed kind of dropped and had a sway in the middle.  My husband propped it back up but we knew we needed a permanent solution that couldn't fall over.  We decide to build a box that we could slide under the slats and a box could not slide and fall over.  Once we were done building it and we slid it into place the bed feels much more solid now and the added friction has made the bed more stable against Bremen as well. 

While we were cleaning up from our little construction project the air conditioning guy came out and serviced our air conditioner.  He worked hard and Handsome decided on some extra services cleaning the coils, he worked very hard.  Mean while I finally got the photos up from my photo project.  These were all put up with Command Picture Hanging Strips.  They were a little thick for the frames I got at Ikea but I cut them in half lengthwise and put them up.  Much easier than nailing holes and such.  Here it is all finished!

(sorry for the glare)

I also took some time to put up my new wall hanging system that i had gotten at The Container Store, the wall anchors they gave me would just spin in the dry wall when I tried inserting the screws, I tried different wall anchors but they all kept spinning until I use the screw kind.  By that time the holes were too big so Handsome patched them and I used the screw-in wall anchors above the old holes.  I would have just left the holes, after all the wall file would have covered them up but Handsome wanted to do t right so he patched them.  Looks pretty good doesn't it ?  Now I just have to decide on a chair and maybe some art work above the boxes.  ttyl

Goldilocks and the Three Bears
"After she'd eaten the three bears' breakfasts she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.
"This chair is too big!" she exclaimed.
So she sat in the second chair.
"This chair is too big, too!" she whined.
So she tried the last and smallest chair.
"Ahhh, this chair is just right," she sighed. "

Sleepyhead

Oh so tired today - I don't know if it was the workout yesterday or just a bad night's sleep but I have been exhausted all day and feel a bit under the weather.  This will not be a long post but I did want to let you know that I called in my cycle day 1 today.  This is great news because my cycle needed to start by tomorrow at the latest or my transfer day would have to be postponed.  Now things can continue to go forward - YAY!  I am still taking the estradiol (estrace) twice a day and it will stay that way for a while. 

More good news - Handsome was notified that his motion to join the Colorado Bar has been approved.  Now he just has to go and take the oath to make it official and take a class on professional ethics.  So that plan is moving forward as well. 

Well even though all i want to do is crawl in bed I need to go get dinner ready and stuff.  Also planning on going back to the gym for cardio - even though I am tired I want to stay fit and healthy for my hopefully upcoming pregnancy.

To Bed, To Bed
"To bed, to bed,
Says Sleepy-head.
Tarry a while, says Slow.
Put on the pan,
Says greedy Nan,
We'll sup before we go."

Cracker Jack

I'm still alive... so sorry I haven't blogged in so long.  I got really lazy last week about computer time and spent most of my time chillin' with the hubby.  This weekend was pretty busy though and I didn't get a chance to get on the computer.

Thursday of last week I finally gave up the ghost on my printer.  If you remember I wanted to create a photo wall behind the bed which is bare right now as seen here:

See how Heidel is helping the picture out by modeling?  Sorry for the glaring light and the fact that  the bed is hardly made but we only make the bed pretty when guests come over otherwise we just pull up the blankets and go.  Anyways... back to the subject of the photo wall and my printer.  My printer has always done an adequate job of printing but when I powered it up last week to print off my FET timeline and my pictures I kept getting a "ink system failure" error.  I tried replacing all empty and expired cartridges but nothing was working.  I went online and found a help document on their technical support site but nothing worked.  Finally I told Handsome it was dead and that we should get a new one.  Then on Friday I debated not getting a printer and printing everything out through Staples or Kinko's printing services but I know myself - I know that I would procrastinate taking things to get printed and it would mean projects were delayed if they happened at all.  So I went looking for printers.  I thought I would get a small printer with good photo capability  - something small to replace the old printer.

See old all-in-one printer above.  Alas when I went to staples and Fry's I could not find any printers that weren't all-in-ones.  However the prices have come down from when I last bought one and I found this Canon MG6220 on sale at Fry's for half off!  I looked up reviews on Amazon through my phone and it got very good reviews.  So I bought it. 

See, its already working hard printing out photos for me!  Its wireless which was a little different but it hooked up to the network without an issue.

Saturday was a very busy day.  I started out with my second acupuncture appointment.  I have to say that I did not enjoy this one as much.  I thought the needles hurt more than last time and I was a little tense since it was only my second time and this was a different person.  Luckily I will be back with my original acupuncturist Dr. Price this week.  They also received my FET timeline so they will be able to help me best schedule my future appointments.  While I was there, Handsome was taking Heidel to the vet for her checkup - everything was good.  I got home hoping we could get to the mall early and eat at P.F. Chang's before Handsome's hair appointment at noon.  Unfortunately I hadn't let him know of my grand plan and when I got home he was outside trimming the tree.  This meant that he had to take a shower and clean up before we could go and there wasn't enough time to eat before his appointment so we ate after.  The air conditioning company was supposed to come out for our annual check up but they called to cancel because they had too many emergency appointments - I feel for anyone who had airconditioning issues this weekend when it was 113 - they rescheduled for next weekend. 

We also had a sale rep from First Impressions come out to give us a quote on a security door.  We went for the Technique in New Mahogany (brown) with oil rubbed bronze latch and black bug screen.

It will look similar to the door above but without the side light (we got a film instead which will make it impossible to get in through the side window) and without the tan shade cloth so ours will not have such a distinct contrast.  I'm normally not a oil-rubbed bronze kind of gal, at least with our current house and design style, but I liked how the oil rubbed bronze would blend in with the frame.

After he left I finished setting up the new printer and then went to the container store to get a wall file holder and a chair for my sewing/craft center desk.  I wanted something fun, feminine, and bright without being too girly.  I recently got this shade for my desk lamp and love its bright pop of color!

I also have some wall boxes with bright, fun items stored in them.  So I was looking at this chair from the container store.

I was thinking about the "Pinkberry" color which looks nice in the picture but I wonder if it is too girly. I want a colorful creative place.  Pink was the ONLY one they didn't have on display so I could see what kind of pink it was.  What do you think?  Pink, or blue or green?  The green pretty much looks like it does in the picture above, the blue is a bit brighter, and I don't know if it is a dark pink like the picture or a candy pink.  I can't decide and now I have to travel to the container store AGAIN!  I love that place but it is so far away!  While I was there I also picked up this  pin to hold wrapping paper but think it might clash with the shade and maybe I should get something different.

 Any ideas, suggestions?  Should I take this back and get something different?  I also got t he wall file below which I would like better if it was a color but I figure I can brighten it up with some fun colorful bird shaped magnets I got.  The only one they had in color was orange which I didn' think would go and didn't have this cool pattern.

We had pasta for dinner and watched "Your Highness" which was REALLY stupid but REALLY funny!  Definitely NOT okay for kids.  There is sexual humor, brief nudity and a whole bunch of cussing but it is a great film for adults!  Afterwards I finished printing and framing the pics for the photo wall and I will try to get them set up and hung this week.

Sunday we went out to baseball game.  The Diamond backs won and it was great fun.  I had hot dogs and even a little bit of cotton candy.  We were able to get the tickets fairly cheap and not too far away - we were right behind the D-Back's bull pen.  Handsome grilled some corn for me that night and I watched TV and read my book until bed time.  My poor husband kept getting the hiccups and nothing he was trying was getting rid of them so I looked it up and had him breathe into a paper bag - he kinda rolled his eyes and thought it was BS but he was willing to try anything... and it WORKED! 

On the baby front - I stopped my birthcontrol on Saturday and while I definitely haven't had my cycle day one I could tell my body was getting tired of the birthcontrol - I had some light spotting the past few days even before I stopped the BC.  Sunday I started taking the Estradiol (Estrace) twice a day.  I will continue taking it twice a day until the 28th when I move up to three times a day.  I will definitely keep you updated as more stuff starts happening and will try to make sure not to leave so much time between posts.  ttyl

Take Me Out To The Ball Game
"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game."
 - 1908 Tin Pan Alley song by Jack Norworth and Albert Von Tilzer



Home Again, Home Again

A quick update here so that you don't think I have abandoned you.  Handsome and I went to the Maricopa Home and Garden Show and spent money on things we really didn't need.  We bought a half case of wine from Germany, we purchased a set of microfiber sheets, we put a refundable $50 deposit on a security door from what I am sure now is THE most EXPENSIVE security door company in the place, we also purchased a chiropractic appointment for Handsome in a couple weeks.  I wanted to print out some pictures and start my photo wall as well as printing out my time line but my printer says the ink has expired - not run out mind you, but expired.  I am pretty sure it is a scam to get me to pay $20 for a new black ink cartridge.  We watched a bit of the Olympics - the skeet and trap shooting and that's about it.  My husband made a wonderful marinated steak dinner last  night with lots of grilled corn and tonight he made chicken with lemon, potatoes, garlic and olives.  I will try and get my new cartridge so I can get everything printed out tomorrow and I can start to tell you about the timeline and show you some pictures of the photo wall behind the bed. ttyl

Home Again, Home Again
"To market, to market, to buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.
To market, to market, to buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.
To market, to market, to buy a plum bun,
Home again, home again, market is done."

Time to Rise

I sent an email this morning to the nurse at ARMS asking for my timeline.  Finally, with no explanation or apologies for the delay, I got it at 1:32 pm.  I still had some questions about whether this counted as my "teaching visit" and if so when do I pay the FET fee.  She let me know that I could pay at my ultrasound but I still have some questions and I need to have my thyroid checked again so I will make an appointment for Friday or Monday.  The biggest problem is that my transfer day is set for September 4th which is the day after the labor day holiday and Handsome may have some problems getting it off.  I don't know what I will do if he can't get it off; he said he will talk to someone at work tomorrow about it.  Well I know this is a short post but I don't really have anything else - was really tired today after work (I think it was the big lunch I had) and took a nap with Handsome.  Later we watched Falling Skies - great show - and then I came on here to give you guys an update before I go to bed.  ttyl

The Cock Doth Crow
"The cock doth crow
To let you know,
If you be wise,
Tis time to rise."